Cheers to Fat Tuesday!

Right now they are celebrating Carnival in Haiti. It is a BIG deal! From my research (thanks Google) I found out a few things about Carnival in Haiti.

• One website refers to Carnival in Haiti as "The biggest party EVER."
• Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday are all about indulging oneself in food, drink, music...etc before Lent which begins on Ash Wednesday and goes through Easter.
• In Haiti, shortly after New Years the radio stations begin broadcasting "Meringue Carnavalesque" which is carnival themed music.
• There is dancing in the streets, masked balls, parades with elaborate floats, seductive dancing...etc - all the really really good stuff.
• According to another website the slaves in Haiti were not allowed to celebrate Carnival the way the slave masters were. After the Independence in 1804 the slaves took advantage of their freedom and went all out for Carnival.

From what I understand during this time it is complete chaos and debauchery in Haiti. It's the biggest party in the world - so why am I sitting here typing about it?!

The word on the street is....

That Lou is in pre-school!!! Oh we are so proud of him! I hear that he knows his "J" and is very proud of that fact too!

Now I'll be honest with you - I did shed a few tears when I read that he was in pre-school. It's hard being so far away and watching him grow through pictures and words. Every month or so I get a small update in words and sometimes a picture or two and those have to sustain me until he eventually comes home. I know he will come home and I know that the longest part of our wait is definitely behind us.

We are ready for him to be home. There are things we want to teach him. Places we want to take him. I want him to see the world and have the opportunity to thrive because I know he will. He's a smart boy and given the chance he will make a difference, I know this because I'm his mom.

A little food for thought....

I ran across this poem and wasn't sure if I wanted to put it out there on my blog but my sister in law convinced me that I should because it really puts a lot of feelings into words. I am great at putting things into words but some things hit too close to home to actually be able to put into clear coherent thoughts. So here it is and I hope that it can do one of two things for you; either help you understand where someone else has been or help you put into words where you have been.

There are women who become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss. And though they are good mothers and love their children.
I know I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child; knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him.
And that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually gave birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, I mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.
And even though I can't make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

***Edited to add: Author Unknown***

New Photo...

Breaking News...This Just In....

Someone very wise (hi Raime) once told me that pregnant woman can't think clearly to save their lives. Well guess what? It has nothing to do with the biological effects of actually "being" pregnant. It has everything to do with the expectation of an impending arrival of a child. So I would like to regretfully admit that I have not been able to think clearly for approximately two years now. Through this adoption pregnancy I have been nothing but a lunatic - I can't wait for the days to go by because that means I'm one day closer to my baby being home. I try to stay really really busy but the honest truth is that my house could be burning down and while I'm trying to save all my worldly possessions I would still be thinking about Lou.

I'm not really one to celebrate Valentine's Day. It's sweet and all but really I don't need to be wined and dined. I don't need a dozen roses or anything nutty like that. So this year I would like to ask: Loudince, will you be my valentine?

EEK....someday Lou Lou is going to read these entries from this blog - a long time from now - and he will just die because his mom is soooo embarrassing! I love it!

Dressed To Impress!

How stinkin' cute is this outfit?!

No News

Isn't there a song called "No News"? Or something like that? Well it's the soundtrack to my life right now.

So does anyone have any suggestions of things I need to do to get ready for baby to come home? Only he's not a baby anymore. He's a toddler a full fledged walking, running, babbling toddler. He can probably even talk back if he wanted to and believe me if you could see him roll his eyes at me (his mother) then you would understand that he can talk back. And you know what? I LOVE IT! I adore the age he is at. He's awesome. All of him! From the way he rolls his eyes to the way he intensely adores his daddy.

So help me out. If you have a toddler at home -- what do I need/gotta have/can't live without?